Pastor as Spiritual Leader - Part I

In the past few days, I have been blessed with casual conversations with two lay persons, neither of whom are members of the church I serve (one a Southern Baptist). In our conversations about church and faith, they both stressed to me the importance of a pastor being a spiritual leader. So I got curious and looked up my job description as it’s outlined in the Book of Discipline. Here’s the gist of it:

All pastors have the same general responsibilities that fall into four main categories, described as Word, Sacrament, Order, and Service. This fourfold ministry includes (but is not limited to) preaching; worship; studying and applying Scripture to daily life; celebrating the Sacraments; developing congregational leaders; attending to the day-to-day business of the church; caring for the spiritual and temporal needs of the congregation and community; modeling for and leading the congregation in acts of compassion, mercy, and justice; and nurturing the congregation for mission and ministry in the world as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ. – from The Book of Discipline ¶331, and Guidelines for Leading Your Congregation 2005-2008: Pastor (Abingdon Press, 2005), p. 6

When you look up ¶331, you find that the Discipline lists at least 15 different responsibilities of the pastor (¶331), which can be clustered into seven major areas:

1. Spiritual leader: The pastor is the primary spiritual leader in the congregation and is responsible for helping members grow closer to God through worship and spiritual disciplines. 
   
2. Worship leader, preacher, and teacher
   
3. Trainer of laity: The pastor seeks to equip lay persons to discover how they have been called to ministry in the world and to accomplish those ministries. 
   
4. Administrative leader and steward of the congregation's vision of how they are called to accomplish the mission of making disciples.
   
5. Custodian of institutional integrity: The pastor protects the integrity of the reputation of the church in the community—as a place of honesty, safety, hope and reconciliation—and upholds the traditions, polity, and beliefs of The United Methodist Church. 
   
6. Participant in the United Methodist connection: A United Methodist pastor is part of an extensive network of ministry as a member of an annual conference, a district, and the denomination. He or she has responsibilities to participant in and support these connections and to inform the congregation about its participation in this connectional system. 
   
7. Minister to the community: Pastors are in ministry beyond the walls of the particular congregation to which they are appointed by being involved in the life of the community in ways that witness to the mission of Christ in the world. 
   

Being "the primary spiritual leader in the congregation" seems to be a priority - and not just because the Book of Discipline says so - laity certainly think so... and not just Methodist laity, I might add.

The question is: are we as UM pastors presently equipped to be spiritual leaders?

My answer is, it depends on the pastor. But I will risk a sweeping statement - in the UMC, a pastor must prepare him or herself for the role of spiritual leader, in helping people get closer to God and teaching spiritual disciplines to do that for life. For the most part, seminary doesn't do that. Before we start slamming seminaries, we need to be objective and to realize that seminaries - and indeed the UMC and Boards of Ministry - have not seen that as a priority. It's one of those things that you're just supposed to "get" on your own. And, in all honesty, in the truest sense of the word, our seminaries are really schools of theology. I know that I got a very good theological education. But what I learned about spiritual disciplines, direction, and leadership were not required courses. I was prepared to be a worship leader, an in-residence theologian, an educator, and a chief administrative officer for a church. All certainly important things.

But do they trump being a spiritual leader for the congregation you are appointed to serve?

More to come...

Sky+

Violin Camp at RUMC

Logan and Amy Blewett held Violin Camp at RUMC this week, and we were treated to a concert this afternoon!

Pictured left to right: Ben Gamble, Maiah Lambert, Kylee Meeks, Evelyn Stewart, and Meah Jordan

Psalm 150

1 Praise the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.

2 Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.

3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,

4 praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,

5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.

6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD.

Proud of Our OWLS - Again!

This article ran in the United Methodist Reporter recently. I couldn't be prouder of our church.

Pax,
Sky+

---

Older but wiser: Kentucky church keeps older members active 

By Mary Jacobs
Staff Writer

Pearl Wood and Flo Crooks tell preschool children what it was

 like to live in the 1950s, including the popular clothing styles that were worn. 

Katherine Flowers, 90, had never tried line dancing before in her life. Mary Ann Sturma, 82, had never played a musical instrument. But Ms. Flowers and Ms. Sturma recently tried each for the first time at OWLS.

Older Wiser Laughing Souls (OWLS) is the older adult ministry of Reidland United Methodist Church in Paducah, Ky., and both ladies can’t say enough about it.

“It’s a group where you can find fellowship, things to do and people who care,” says Ms. Sturma. “It’s just great.”

The OWLS meet once a month for a meal along with an activity at the church or an outing to a nearby restaurant or attraction.

“If there’s something of interest in the area that the bus can go to, we go,” said Ms. Flowers.

“We get to do things we might not do ourselves, because many of us do not like to drive at night,” said Ms. Sturma.

“This program has really bloomed,” said Cathy Burkhead, volunteer co-coordinator of OWLS. “The older adults have a voice and they are a big part of our church now.”


The group has about 50 regular participants; Reidland’s weekly worship attendance averages around 200. Like many United Methodist churches, Reidland’s congregation is aging. More than 30 percent of the church’s membership are people 70 and older.

OWLS began in 2005 after organizers attended an older adult workshop at nearby Trinity United Methodist.

“We came away with wonderful ideas and books to guide us in this ministry,” said Ms. Burkhead.

And things took off from there. One church member, a recent retiree, obtained a special driver’s license so that she could drive the church bus. Another started a hand chimes group called the Owleluia Chimers, which plays at worship services. In 2007, the older adults’ group was invited to take charge of the church’s worship service.

“It was so warmly received that we have been asked to do it every year,” said Ms. Burkhead. “The service provides the opportunity for the congregation to celebrate the gifts and contributions of older adults, and it is loved by the entire congregation.”

“It’s not difficult to get seniors involved,” said Ms. Burkhead. “We survey them once a year and ask what types of programs and speakers are of interest.”

Ms. Sturma says she’s volunteered more than 15,000 hours at a local hospital—a project she loves—but it’s easier to make friends and find fellowship at OWLS. She’s dealt with a number of health problems and surgeries in the last 15 years or so, and says fellow OWLS support each other with similar problems.

Ms. Sturma is also quick to praise OWLS for serving older people in the community who are not members of the church.

“I have a Catholic friend who has no relatives in town, no way to drive and no way to pay,” she said. “But they always pick her up and include her in all the outings and meals, free of charge. I think it’s great that they reach out to others outside of the church. It’s food for the body and the soul.”

“We always provide a meal with our programs and activities, and we carry lunches to those who can’t make it,” Ms. Burkhead said. “That’s a big part of our program.”

The Rev. Vida McClure, older adult coordinator for the Paducah District, says Reidland’s program works well because of its dedicated volunteers.

“The first thing that is needed for a strong older adult ministry is a group of volunteers with a love and a desire for working with older adults,” she said.

But Ms. Burkhead, along with co-coordinator Lynda Cochrum and half a dozen other volunteers, say they find the investment of time pays off many times.

“Participating in an OWLS event, I feel like we sat with Jesus and walked with him,” she said. “The participants are so appreciative and thankful.”

Ms. McClure adds that older-adult programs must be tailored to the needs and interests of participants. Programs on crime protection, identity theft, assisted living and planning for the end of life have been effective in the older-adult ministry she coordinates at nearby Clinton United Methodist Church.

Reidland plans to lead a workshop in the fall to reach out to churches that do not have older adult ministries, with an eye toward partnering with those churches to help them start similar programs.

“It’s very important to have this type of ministry, because these folks have much to give to us,” Ms. Burkhead said.

mjacobs@umr.org

umportal.org
Mary Jacobs, Aug 6, 2008

PHOTOS COURTESY OF REIDLAND UMC

Do It Yourself

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda es is a Latin phrase that has nothing to do with religion, philosophy, or wisdom. Translated, it means, “The designated hitter rule has got to go.”

The designated hitter (D.H.) rule is from baseball; in essence, you can substitute a (better) hitter in place of the pitcher – so the pitcher doesn’t have to bat. In major league baseball, only the American League has the DH rule. I’ve never liked the rule, and most baseball purists don’t like it either. (And yes, this is a picture of Roger Clemens batting. A rare event.)

Why don't I like the DH rule? Well, hitting is certainly a part of baseball. Facing a pitcher can be daunting, but it’s also fun. Some say the DH makes the game better, for we see better hitters in the place of pitchers, who don’t normally hit very well. But I disagree: I think the rule enables some players avoid the harder part of the game.

Sometimes, we do the same thing in the church. If we are not careful, we allow our pastors, worship leaders, and Sunday School teachers do our studying and praying for us. I know that I can fall into the same trap. The truth of the matter is that our discipleship is dependent on our willingness to foster and cultivate relationships with others. That begins with our having a personal and corporate relationship with God through Christ.

Don’t let someone “DH” for you when it comes to study and prayer. Do it yourself, and find the joys and blessings in knowing and being known by our Almighty God.

Pax,
Sky+

Behind the Song

Music has always been an integral part of my life; I am at best a frustrated musician, but I dearly love to listen, admire, and soak it in, and find myself more often than not in conversation with God while I listen.

Anyone who has a child is always moved by hearing Billy Joel's "The Lullaby." You might be even more moved when you know the story behind the song:

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes,
And save these questions for another day.
I think I know what you've been asking me,
I think you know what I've been trying to say.
I promised I would never leave you,
Then you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away.

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep,
And still so many things I want to say.
Remember all the songs you sang for me,
When we went sailing on an emerald bay.
And like a boat out on the ocean,
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me.

(Humming)

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream,
And dream how wonderful your life will be.
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby,
Then in your heart there will always be a part of me.
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabys go on and on
They never die
That's how you and I will be.

Every song has a story. Here's to praying that we might always be willing to tell our story.

Pax,
Sky+

Remembering Who You Are – And Where You Came From

My brother and I took off a few days last week to spend time with some of our extended family. We have not gone back there in almost 15 years for any other reason than funerals, so it was past time. Much of our mother's family has never left the area where several generations of Houghtons, Jamesons, and Garretts lived.

At the end of the month, I am preaching a homecoming service at New Salem UMC in Banks County, Georgia. I served New Salem when I was in seminary nearly 20 years ago.

I remember when I was in high school that I said a term that my mother seriously chastised me for: “white trash” – referring to folks from the poorer side of town. Her words burned into me. “Sky, you are not that far removed from that situation yourself.” And she was right. Southeastern Kansas is incredibly impoverished. Related to that, when I lived in Banks County, Georgia, my salary was $13k, which at the time was the median income for Banks County.

Some folks would be ashamed of talking about such a past, or admitting that they have family in such situations. The reality is I cannot deny my roots, nor would I want to. I am blessed with a large extended family that blesses me. And I suspect when I go down to Georgia in a few weeks, I will realize how blessed I was when I was their pastor.

It was once said about Jesus (by one of his disciples, no less), “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Nazareth was secluded by hills, and had a bad reputation for having no culture and a rude dialect – the “white trash” of lower Galilee.

From poverty and the unlikeliest situations, our Savior and Prophet arose. God’s chosen are everywhere… and come from everywhere.

Pax,
Sky+

Gasoline, Work, Stewardship, and Unexpected Surprises

Last night, I was eating a very late supper with two friends that I officiate basketball with (one of them grew up in a Methodist parsonage). We had officiated several ballgames at a summer high school camp, and the three of us had ridden our motorcycles to the games - both for fun, and to save money on gas. We were remarking how hard our parents and grandparents worked, and how much easier by comparison that we have it. Sending kids to college, paying bills, and the like are still not easy, but we were telling these stories while eating a pretty good meal in a nice restaurant.

There are all kinds of political, social, and economic reasons and theories about why the price of oil is going up, that the government should intervene, etc. I am not fluent enough in any of those areas to risk an opinion there. I just know that the reality is that gasoline costs over $4 a gallon. For some, it is going to be an economic hardship. For me, I am having to reassess priorities and travel.

I can't get around the fact that I have to drive a lot to do ministry. It is never a stretch to drive as many - if not more - miles that I am budgeted to be reimbursed for; it doesn't take long at 50.5¢ a mile! And while my old BMW gets 24 mpg, my old motorcycle got 40.


My old bike had a lot of miles and years; it was a 1993 model. So I finally quit being so cheap and bought a new bike about a month ago: a 2008 Kawasaki Vulcan Classic. It averages 45-50 mpg, and has a much bigger tank and engine than my last bike, and is already paying for itself at the pump: I pay half what I used to pay for my car to go the same distance! The weather has been outstanding this past month, and I have ridden to work, on errands, and in making pastoral and hospital calls. Yes, I occasionally run into the occasional storm - that's why they make rainsuits. I also realize from my trip to England that pastors have to be very creative in their transportation because of costs. So instead of just riding for fun, I tend these days to ride out of economics. A strange thing has happened in the process.

I used to loathe driving during work hours - I hate the waste of time that driving takes. You can't run an errand or make a hospital call in less than an hour in Paducah, and if I have someone in the hospital at Vanderbilt, I have just lost a whole day just by driving. It is certainly work that needs to be done, but I often wish I could snap my fingers and be transported directly to my destination instead of wasting the hours driving there.

But I have started enjoying the drive now. Riding a motorcycle is glorious, and the sights are always seen with a 360° view. I get a few stares when wearing a clerical collar, but that's an inconvenience at best. The strange things are the conversations that emerge. Motorcycles are always conversation starters, i.e., "Nice bike." "I'll pay for your gas if you'll pay for mine!" When it gets more interesting is when someone asks, "What do you do for a living?" When I tell them, the reactions range from uncomfortable silence to wide grins. And that sometimes leads to very interesting and blessed conversations and opportunities.

Who would have thought a little evangelism would save me money?

Pax,
Sky+

Radical Hospitality – Just Don’t Say It, Do It

Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." - Matthew 9:35-38

My good friend and colleague Johnny Jeffords recently wrote on his blog about our Annual Conference’s theme, “Radical Hospitality.” He makes a great statement:

Radical comes from the word from which we get "root." Too many of us think of radical as being whacked out - on the fringe. Radical hospitality is the opposite - it moves us to the essential nature of our being - the foundation of who we are. And for the Christian community, that root can be none other than Jesus of Nazareth.

Dr. Jeffords warns us, though, that it doesn’t need to be practiced as the latest action plan or evangelism program – it needs to be practiced in our daily discipleship. In short – practicing radical hospitality is to practice being the essence of Jesus Christ.

Will it get you into trouble? Most assuredly. There was a reason that Jesus was called a drunkard and glutton: he was seen eating meals with prostitutes and publicans, and probably had a glass of wine or two while he did it. When people disapproved of his messages and ministry, they used these things against him. Since he was unmarried, I am sure some of his critics liked to think (and say) that he was either a womanizer or gay.

So, if we’re radical in both our hospitality and our discipleship, we may need to be prepared and prayed up to face the critics and naysayers. Some will say you’re crazy to welcome “those folks” into your church or Sunday School class. Some outside of our church will see our new parking lot and wonder, “I wonder who died and left them the money to do that?” Radical hospitality and discipleship is liable to get Reidland United Methodist Church labeled as “the crazy church.”

I hear RUMC’s preacher has a beard and rides a motorcycle, too…

Pax,
Sky+

Annual Conference 2008

I am always tired after Annual Conference, but I must say I am very excited about some new direction for our annual conference.

Five new Annual Conference Priorities were announced – and this time not just with words, but with a plan and mechanism in place to implement them:

1. Intentional Discipleship with Wesleyan Distinctiveness
2. Congregational Vitality and Revitalization
3. Leadership Development
4. Faith Community and New Church Development
5. Outreach Advocacy

A Lay Resource Leader (LRL) will be identified in each District. Then, a unique partnership will be formed between the District Superintendent, LRLs, District Lay Leaders & Director of the CMT to address ministry needs. The emphasis? On the local church! We have conference staff in our own district!

Thanks to our own Jerry Severns and James Brockman for representing us at Annual Conference. James also stuck around an extra day to hear Adam Hamilton’s presentation on Wednesday.

It was all a very good celebration of ministry. But it’s good to be home.

Pax,
Sky+

In Search of the Perfect Reuben

Several years ago, when I lived in Jackson, Tennessee, I wrote a silly little article for one of the entertainment magazines in Jackson, TN, entitled, "In Search of the Perfect Reuben." It started when I got into a conversation with one of my church members, Tim Walker. Our discussion turned serious when we began talking Reuben sandwiches. After painstaking research, we came to the conclusion that there were two great places to get a Reuben in Jackson: the Bemis Deli (alas, a very short-lived business venture), and the Old Town Spaghetti Store.

My family has lived in Kentucky off and on since 1991, so we decided it was high time to go to Mammoth Cave. One of my church members learned that we were going, and shared with us a great place to get a meal. I didn't pay that much attention until she said, "They have the best Reuben sandwich you'll ever have." Hark! She wrote down the name of the resort on an offering envelope.

She was right. My wife, who had never had a Reuben, loved her sandwich. My daughter, who was scared of something new, took a tentative bite of my wife's sandwich and her eyes lit up. Lots of sandwich, wonderfully fresh marbled rye bread toasted just perfectly. If you're ever near Park City, Kentucky, and you like Reuben sandwiches (I hear the prime rib is good, too), you have got to check out Park Mammoth Resort. Go to the lobby, and the restaurant is located adjacent to it. It is a quaint, beautiful resort that looks like a great place to relax and renew.

Be forewarned: if you've ever watched Dirty Dancing, the place reminds you of Kellerman's. [smile]

Pax,
Sky+

Old & New With the Familiar

That is a picture of my prie deux that sits in my office. My hometown fire chief, Buster Williams, made that for me several years ago. It was the next-to-last piece of furniture that he ever made before he died. It reminds me that we stand (and kneel) on the shoulders of giants. It is my most treasured piece of furniture.

I have been in ordered life since 1991, and the Daily Offices have been a part of my prayer life since then. I was introduced to the daily office when I was in seminary. Two wonderful people, Mary Stamps and Don Saliers, led morning prayer at 7:30 in the morning in Cannon Chapel. Don was my professor of worship (and as all UM's know, so instrumental in worship renewal and study for UM's). Mary was a doctoral student and now lives in monastic life at St. Brigid of Kildare Monastery - a monastery she founded (story here). We all managed to play golf together once. In those days I took my golf seriously, but on that day I watched my language and managed to share fellowship instead of try to birdie holes. Or par them.

The Daily Office gives my prayer life structure and discipline. I learned the ancient practice of lectio divina, praying the scriptures. Both of those things led to my journaling and writing. And in the process, I have learned that when communicating with God, it is much more important to be silent and listen than to do all of the talking. God has important things to say to us!


Of late, I have incorporated something new into my praying the offices. This is hard for me, because I am very much a creature of habit, form, and structure. I received as a gift Celtic Daily Prayer: Prayers and Readings from the Northumbria Community. I have Celtic roots (fair skin, a little red in my beard [what hasn't turned gray], and an appreciation for Guinness and Jameson), and Celtic Christian spirituality has a lot of appreciation for monasticism, higher learning, art & poetry, theological orthodoxy, and thin boundaries between the sacred and secular. Ireland was quite isolated from the Roman Catholic Church, and there really weren't any towns - just countryside villages. So their liturgy and their spirituality took on a more rugged, missionary quality.

More specifically, the Celts developed the idea of having a partner or partners (a "soul friend") to help in spiritual direction, and they invented personal confession. Because of illiteracy, they were an oral word-based culture; most of the people were illiterate but had great memorization skills, and as a result they loved to tell and hear great stories. They had a sense of closeness and immanence between the natural and supernatural, and placed great priority on hospitality. Family and kinship ties were very important to them.

So as I read ancient prayers and the biographies of Celtic saints, I go back in time with appreciation for my ancestral roots as well as my Christian roots. Incorporating them into my prayer life is both new, yet old. Which is how our faith is supposed to be.

The more I hear the phrase "ancient-future" used in a Christian context, the more I like it.

Pax,
Sky+

Nanos Gigantum Humeris Insidentes

My Latin is awful, but the above phrase means, "Dwarfs Standing on the Shoulders of Giants." (Latin doesn't have articles; fill in with the appropriate definite or indefinite article). It is a phrase I briefly remember from college, and became better acquainted with from my friend Johnny Jeffords. My brief time in Britain last year brought it home even more. For one, the phrase is written on the edge of the £2 coin. And for another, I went to places that allowed me to see where folks who have been formative in my life have walked, where, sometimes, they literally stood on the shoulders of others.

One was seeing the church where John Wesley grew up, where his father served as rector, and where, forbidden to preach inside his own home church, preached instead while standing on top of his father's grave (which was family property). Literally, standing on the shoulders of his father and legacy.

The other was going to the Eagle and Child pub in Oxford. This is where C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, and a few other notable writers used to hang out for discussion and an occasional pint. I actually got to sit down in the same corner where they gathered (that's Rick Dye, my D.S., with me in the picture below at the Eagle and Child). Lewis' writings helped me in discerning my call to the ordained ministry. Tolkien gave me a love of reading and writing that continues to this day, and also influenced my faith in ways that go beyond description.


Why all of these thoughts? I find myself in the midst of lots of funerals: family, friends, parishioners. I always use these opportunities to talk about legacy, the Communion of the Saints, and how we stand on the shoulders of the giants who have gone before us. Even folks who were barely 5 feet tall.

As a society, we're losing touch with our extended families. We have become increasingly mobile and have run greater risks of not appreciating history, community life, and faith communities. Maybe I just need to remind myself of where I've come from so that I will know where I am going.

Thanks for indulging me.

Pax,
Sky+

God Is Always Present – Even, and Especially, In the Pain

I am secure enough in my masculinity to tell you that I do a lot of the housework at our home.

It’s really not drudgery to me – it is freeing. So much of what I do as a pastor isn’t good for someone who is as Type A as I am – there aren’t instant results, you can get through a whole checklist some days and still feel like you’re getting nowhere, and some days your best laid plans are thwarted by one phone call or office visit. That’s the reality of pastoral work.


Cleaning the house is different. There are instant results. When the checklist is completed, your work is done for that week. You can sit down, pour yourself a cup of coffee (unless it’s later in the afternoon, when something else might be more appropriate), sit in a chair and admire your handiwork. Just like mowing the yard, you can tell where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished. And, making something clean that was once dirty is very satisfying.

It was the tiniest book I had ever read: The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and “Women’s Work”. It was actually a college lecture that Kathleen Norris had given several years ago. The book speaks of what it is to see the commonplace with “the eyes of the heart.” As one who is ordained, I was captivated by what she said when she was once at a Catholic mass. During the high liturgy and celebration of the Eucharist, it struck her that during the preparation and ablutions of the Table, the priest was basically doing the dishes (hey, another man doing “women’s work”!). Getting the vessels ready for the elements, cleaning the crumbs from the paten, finishing the wine, rinsing the chalice and wiping the inside of it with purificators... in essence, doing the dishes. While the liturgy left her disoriented in places, she noted that “eating and drinking were something I could understand. That and the housework.”

She goes on:

“Ironically, it seems that it is by the means of seemingly perfunctory daily rituals and routines that we enhance the personal relationships that nourish and sustain us.”

Some days, when I am doing the usual week of pastoral work: writing sermons, making hospital rounds, checking on those who are struggling, keeping up with facility construction, administration (you get the idea)… I have a hard time seeing God. Yet, in the ordinary routine of house and yard work, I realize that God is, and has been, present all along. I’m just too knuckleheaded to realize it.

I’ve gotten behind on housework of late, so this morning, I planned on getting up on the roof and cleaning the rain gutters out. It was a beautiful morning. I got the ladder positioned, started up my leaf blower, and began to ascend the ladder. When I got to the roofline, I stopped. I looked at the pitch of the roof and how my feet and ankles would be positioned. I thought about the kickback of the leaf blower… and I got scared. I’m not afraid of heights; heck, I used to be a firefighter and high-ropes/take-down rescuer. But my body just doesn’t cooperate anymore.

For the past few years, my arthritis has gotten worse. Doctors can’t decide if it’s osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis. I have virtually no strength in my wrists and ankles anymore. Last Tuesday, I had nerve conduction tests (and I think John Wesley was certifiably nuts to have voluntarily electrified himself as much as he did). I take anti-inflammatories to keep inflammation down. I have prescriptions for pain meds when it gets really bad, but I rarely take them – I don’t like pain, but I hate being influenced by drugs even more.

Today was painful – physically, but more so mentally. I have cleaned gutters, climbed ladders, and walked on roofs all of my life. I realized today that I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m 43 years old; I’m not a spring chicken, but by no means am I ancient, either. It hurt my pride. I realized that I have more limitations than I used to. I’m gonna have to pay some kid to clean out my gutters.

After a brief pity party for myself… I recomposed. Centered my thoughts and prayers. And teared up – not out of frustration, but out of anger at myself. And it came to me, and I said to myself, “Silly Sky… God is still here. He’s still present. He still loves you. And He hasn’t forsaken you. Now go clean the inside of your house and get over this lament-and-bitch stuff.”

My house is clean. So is my body. And God is present. He already was… and He will be.

Pax,
Sky+